Thursday, January 22, 2015

Storytelling Week 2: My Version of Perseus and Andromeda

Perseus saving Andromeda, link



As Perseus rode the winds of the world, he pondered his most recent exchange with the Gorgan, Medusa. He had indeed relieved her dreaded head with serpents for locks from her shoulders, and made sure that her dead gaze only affected those whom he wished such an ill fate on. He anguished about his role in the ways of the world, mainly: “How is it that a mortal like me can challenge monsters and Gods, where so many mortals before me have failed?” He didn’t know of his lineage, how his father just so happened to be Jupiter who bestowed his seed upon the virgin DanaĆ«. Though he was mortal, he did have the willful power of the divines to overcome those whom even the gods avoided challenging (Medusa’s gaze could indeed turn even the residents of Olympus into stone, despite them being more powerful than her on the whole). Being the survivor of so many battles and calamities so that even the fates were suspected to have played a part, Perseus’ guilt from surviving started to consume him as he looked over the horizons of the world and its people down below.


Perseus could no longer continue this cycle of languishing. He knew that he must be the one to stop himself from despair. “I must rest, and collect my mind.” he thought. He stopped at the first pleasant piece of land that he found: an area with rolling hills of lush grass, with bountiful, untamed livestock, next to a large sea-side mountain. As Perseus laid down to rest in the soft fields, the mountain began to bend over him, and emitted a booming voice, “WHO TRESPASSES HERE?” Perseus awoke with a start. “I, Perseus, son of DanaĆ«! Who speaks?” The mountain’s form then became clearer as it lowered below the clouds: it was Atlas, the titan that held up the heavens. “So, wind rider, why have you come onto my claim on the world?” Atlas asked. “I only come to clear my mind, and if it is not beyond reason, perhaps some rest and food.” Replied Perseus. “OH? And what is it that ails your little mind, wind rider?” boomed Atlas, “Well, I have seen many lives fall before my own, yet I have survived even though I have braved the same perils. Such as my most recent quarry, Medesa the Gorgan!” The chiseled face of Atlas turned pale: he knew of the prophesy he was once told that his land would be overtaken by the beheader of Medusa. He began to raise himself up to his full height preparing to squash Perseus with his great limbs. Perseus, overwhelmed by the impulse of survival, lifted the Gorgan’s head to Atlas’, and in a flash, turned the titan into the mountain that he had mistaken him for in the first place.


Perseus fled. He could not continue this path; he began to consider the option of settling down and living the quiet life for the rest of his days. While riding the winds, several days after his exchange with Atlas, he saw a girl strapped to an obelisk on an island in the western sea. He dove down to investigate, “Lady, why are you in this predicament?” She looked at him, stunned, "My parents, they are powerful leaders of Aetheopia: the civilization of the 'sea breakers', who were gifted by Poseidon the control over all the forces of the sea. They wish me to express my own power, but I cannot. I do not think I am their child. They have put me here: either I must express my power over the sea, or I will be broken by it." Rising out of the waves, headed toward the duo at an increasing pace, was a serpent: larger along its length than even Atlas himself, and twice as fierce-some. "I cannot do anything to save us. I do not have the gift that my parents wish I had, though I would resent it even if I did. I do not want to rule: I just want to be mortal. Happy and mortal." Andromeda said woefully. "M'Lady," Perseus, replied solemnly, drawing his blade,"we may be very different in what we are, but we both share the same dream." The serpent raised itself to its full height, up above the mist of the sea shore, but just so that the glowing reds of its eyes shown through the fog. "I think you possess more potential than you realize. 'Happy and mortal' will come to both of us. But for now," Perseus gazed directly up into the serpent's maw, "we must show the Fates that 'happy and mortal' is worth fighting for."



Author's note:

I wanted to take on a different perspective to the Greek hero epic, especially those that featured heroes which had supernatural births. I would expect, that in real life circumstances, some great heroes (like Hercules, Achilles, and Perseus) would start encountering a great degree of "survivor's guilt" at some point in their lives. It just seemed like such a natural turn for a story to take: what if some of these heroes who possessed the lineage of the Gods were undesiring of their power? What if they were tired of seeing loved ones or friends dying while they stayed alive? Like I said before, the direction of the story seemed so natural if these heroes were put into a real life setting: post-traumatic stress would eventually get into the minds of half-mortals who, because of their supernatural parents, saw the lives of others passing them by.





Bibliography:
I used the story of Perseus and Andromeda found here

4 comments:

  1. Hey Andres!
    I really enjoyed your take on Perseus and Andromeda. I thought that the way you made your characters speak was a nice tough. It gave your story an authentic feel and allowed connect with the story better. Your use of description was great as well. When you were describing the scenery and the characters’ thoughts, I could picture the scene in my head. I also liked how you explained your concept in the author’s note. It was very creative of you to take the story in the direction of Perseus feeling survivor’s remorse. It made him seem more human, more relatable.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Andres!

    I am looking at your store from editing eyes, and just wanted to mention how much I enjoyed your take on this story! I thought your first and last sentences, especially the last, were attention-grabbing and epic. I enjoyed the creative spin on having Perseus ponder his mortality, and fight for what he wants.

    A few things I noticed structure-wise: your sentences might need restructured from a grammar standpoint. Be careful about ending your sentences with a preposition. For instance, in the first paragraph second sentence you ended the sentence with the word "on" when it should read "...on whom he wished such an ill fate." Hopefully this makes sense. Another thing, which I am certain was unintentional, is to make sure and double-check character names. For instance, in the second paragraph, Medusa's name is spelled "Medesa." I'm sure you did not intend to do this, but name-spelling is definitely worth a second glance in order to maintain cohesion in the writing. Although I admit, it does get tricky whenever spell-check underlines the name regardless of correct spelling. Overall, incredible job on this!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hello, “Posh Frenchie”! I am a huge fun of Greco-Roman mythology, and so definitely enjoyed this retelling of one of Perseus’ adventures. However, there is always room for improvement, and I did note a few changes that could improve both this and future stories you compose!

    First off, in compound sentences (like your second sentence) where the subject is shared between two verbs, there should not be a comma present before the conjunction. This is an error I make quite often, and one that is quite easily remedied. Also, when something is personified or represents a specific group (such as the Fates), make sure you capitalize it if necessary. This is another common error made often with titles such as mother and father.

    You did a good job of working dialogue into the story in order to enhance the reader’s vision and engagement, but make sure you check the punctuation you use to introduce and end these statements; you have a few places where commas are either added or omitted.

    Overall, though, I truly enjoyed this story and the style with which you told it. Great work!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow, what an interesting perspective to take on heroes! I really enjoyed reading this. I like how you really explored the emotions of your character. I also like that the last sentence of your story was so dramatic. I could picture it as a movie quote that a heroic character would say just before an intense battle.
    Looking at it from a formatting standpoint, I think it might have been a little easier to read if it was broken up into more paragraphs. Relatedly, I think dialogue flows better when each speaker gets a new paragraph. However, I know that many of the myths embed the dialogue within the paragraphs and do not separate speakers, so this may have been a stylistic choice on your part. I also really like the image you chose to use and I like that it was placed at the beginning of your story. It really helped me be able to visualize the scene.

    ReplyDelete