The Walrus and the Carpenter, by John Tenniel
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The Walrus and his business partner the Carpenter had been on Middle-Night Coast for weeks, with no sign of any real source of food or water.
"What a dirty trick! How could the Red Queen sell us this blasted coast for us to start our sea-food eatery, with not one morsel to be found!" complained the Walrus.
The Carpenter looked up hungrily, "Not only that, but we've both seemed thinner these past few days. Maybe once we find our sea-food bounty we should eh... try the product to eh... 'test' for quality?"
"Right you are! Haha! Splendid idea!" replied the Walrus, looking up at the Sun and Moon, who were smiling down on the two of them. The Walrus then stubbed his flipper on one of the bigger rocks that lined the jagged coast. "Blast it!", he exclaimed, "Stop smiling, you two! You've done nothing to help our situation!" The Walrus thought it might be pleasant for their fellow patrons to have a view of the Sun and Moon both gazing down upon them while they dined, but now he was starting to find their presence quite annoying.
"OH! That ridge up the way looks just dandy for the foundations!" the Carpenter exclaimed. "Give up will you?... There have been plenty of 'dandy' ridges till this point, but it's not the foundations that matters, it's the source of..." the Walrus stopped "(sniff sniff) Do you smell that?" He rushed to the edge of the ridge, where he could see through the crystal clear waters into the tidal pool below, where-and-behold there were...
"OYSTERS, my good man! Oysters!" the Walrus cheered. All the commotion woke up Mother Oyster, who had been sleeping along side her hundreds of children, and she gave a wary eye towards the Walrus. Being in a nearly intoxicated state from lack of water or food, the Walrus collected his businessy wiles and gumption and sauntered down to greet the little colony.
Authors Note: I wanted to retell the Walrus and the Carpenter in a way that would make the reader sympathetic to them, because in the original story they are contemptible characters who only think about their selfish thoughts. On top of that, in the original telling they aren't given much background, and that's what makes them not as easy to empathize with as with the oysters who get eaten.
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Bibliography: The Walrus and the Carpenter, from "Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There", by Lewis Carroll (1871)
"Oh little oysters... The time has come to talk of many things - of shoes- and sealing wax- of cabbages- and kings. And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings." The Walrus chimed. This was all to much for the young little oysters, not knowing what from what, not knowing that the Walrus sensational words had no substance. Being as gullible as they were, they followed the Walrus to the top of the ridge, where the Carpenter had set up his kitchen shop. And in no time, the Walrus and the Carpenter had tricked and eaten all the Oysters, every single one.
"It seems a shame to play them such a trick, after we've brought them out so far and made them trot so quick..." The Walrus remarked as he felt his now full belly, "I weep for you, I deeply sympathize."
"What could we have done? We would have gone and starved!" the Carpenter responded.
"Quite right, quite right! But this is success! We've found our fortune here! On this coast, on this ridge, we'll set-up shop in half-a-year! With such a bounty at our feet, our business has nothing to fear!" the Walrus triumphantly announced. As they built their sea side eatery, the Walrus and the Carpenter laughed and talked, but never forgave themselves about the first oysters they doomed.
Authors Note: I wanted to retell the Walrus and the Carpenter in a way that would make the reader sympathetic to them, because in the original story they are contemptible characters who only think about their selfish thoughts. On top of that, in the original telling they aren't given much background, and that's what makes them not as easy to empathize with as with the oysters who get eaten.
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Bibliography: The Walrus and the Carpenter, from "Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There", by Lewis Carroll (1871)
I really like that you made the rhyme about the Walrus and the Carpenter into a story! I particularly loved that you kept some of the quotes the same, like how the Walrus tricks the oysters into coming with him! Very clever, and so fun! Your story was a little hard to read because the paragraphs weren't divided by an extra space. Since the font is pretty little, it helps to create an extra space between paragraphs to give the eye a rest, and to also keep you from getting lost in all of the text. It also may help if you separate all of your dialogue; I sometimes had trouble determining who was speaking at which point. Maybe include some more information in your author's note about what the background of the original story is so people who haven't read the original know the basis behind the story and how yours differs.
ReplyDeleteGreat job!
I really enjoyed your story. I liked that you gave the Walrus and the Carpenter a good solid background story that allowed readers to empathize with them. I read this story and I have to say that I felt really bad for the little oysters and thought the Walrus and the Carpenter were mean and awful. Your story shows that it’s all about character perspective.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you showed the background to make them seem not so horrible. It does make them seem less mean because it shows that they were really hungry and just trying to survive. I also really liked that you kept some of the original quotes. I did find your story a little hard to read due to the paragraphs not having space between them. Other than that, I really liked the story.
ReplyDeleteHi! I think you did a great job with your story this week. I liked how you wanted to retell the story to make your reader seem more sympathetic. It helped that you added some background information especially since the original story didn’t include much at all. Overall great job and I really enjoyed this unit too!
ReplyDeleteI liked how you set up the character's background. It was really creative. I also enjoyed how you used a lot of dialogue. This made the story go by faster and made me much more engaged. Your story was also very smooth, which was great to read. Overall, great story!
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